Big and scary

This temping gig has exposed me to quite a few different institutions, and some of them have been quite conservative. I've worked at one particular think thank which is known for its ardent support for the Bush administration and affinity for the words of Ann Coulter.

Aside from the other benefits of temping, which I will get to on another day, this exposure has helped me to codify one particular thesis that I have developed since my return to the US: Republicans are not skinny.

Sure, there's the occasional WASPy waif that they place as a talking head on Fox News, but on the whole, conservatives are not a thin people. Consider the fact that I insensitively bring this up as a matter of political disagreement if you wish, but I believe that the phenomena of overweight Republicans speaks to their very political and philosophical nature.

Few could disagree with the fact that conservatives in this country have a fond appreciation for capitalist ideals. (This is the part where I get labeled as a crazy Communist and dismissed). They (the larger) support the expansion of markets and constant increase in consumerism; it's a matter of political and economic survival. Also, few would disagree that the more you eat, the bigger you get. So, one naturally leads to the other.

I would never want to accuse any Republican of hypocrisy (*cough Foley*), so the thesis concludes that natural and ever-expanding consumerism is naturally leading to ever-expanding bottoms. The problem is both big and scary.

Flown by Mark Mislivec at 09:20 AM on October 15, 2006