I'm having a bit of a crisis of purpose. I think everybody goes through it, and I know people go through it at this age. But really, what am I doing?
I had a teacher back in the day who once told me: "You'll know you're getting older when you change from thinking you know everything to knowing you know nothing." I think I'm getting older.
And my visions of changing the world are fading. Do great men have crises of purpose and phases of pessimism?
This program has been bad for me, and here's why: Before I left home, I had optimistic visions of social change, but they were for concerns that I saw at home; gay marriage, preservation of social security, ending urban gentrification, things like that. Now, I realize that the problem is so much bigger than that. People in the US have a single, huge advantage: access. It's just missing in many other parts of the world, and people who self-gratifyingly portend to be "progressive" are missing the point.
I used to be an American liberal, but I'm not anymore. They're wasting their time. Young people take to the streets in their beat-up Nikes and faded Levis to protest corporatization and globalization, terms that they likely don't even understand. They drive their SUVs to a protest against drilling in ANWR. But why? To what end?
So the students here stopped Nestle from having a cafe on campus. What next? What did it solve? Now they forced the only place on campus that as open all night - an important service to many, to close. Now the liberal groups on campus are fighting over who deserves credit for the victory. Now they're moving to improving the health standards at the other canteens, a move that will likely force many of them out of business. Ironic since the Nestle dhaba was touted as being "corporate clean."
How can you make people see the silliness?
Flown by mariposa at 10:53 AM on February 11, 2005
Comments
Mark,
Reality simetimes leaves a nasty bite, but don't foget individuals are capable of amazing things. Don't throw in the towel just yet. I believe you will succeed in making a difference, if that is what you decide is the path you will take in life. I think any person who has been labeled "great" has experienced periods of examining their own convictions.
Thanks for posting... looking forward to the gallery being restored and updated.
e
Posted by: eric at February 11, 2005 08:52 PM
You're having a quarter-life crisis regarding work and your future; I nearly had one regarding my personal life. Wait, maybe I did have one... Don't they suck?
I alla fäll (in any case, Swed.), yes great men have stretches of pessimissm. We just tend to overlook those moments and hero-fy the Great Men to the point of thinking they're superhuman.
Mark, we'll all hide your non-superhuman-ness in the future, and giggle over onions rings and eggs Benedict at Perkins that nobody else knows the real you.
Posted by: Amanda at February 12, 2005 12:41 AM
Sorry to be a late poster - I'm not accustomed to new material every day - it is such a treat to have you back.
Changing the way the world turns (capitalism, greasing of the palms, corporate takeovers, united statesian-centric, etc) is a tall order. If you want to do something tangible, you might want to focus on something smaller. A community, a small group of people, etc.
And you have it in you to do exactly that Mark. In spades.
If it is your intention to make a difference, don't let your doubts cripple you. Let them be a driving force for you to charge into uncharted territory - inject some creativity back into creating change.
kjersten
Posted by: kjersten at February 16, 2005 10:10 PM
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